,,Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou
I have not experienced the emotions of guilt , shame or embarrassment related with my activist burn-out.
My own judgment about my own feelings and expectations from those within LGBTIQ local and European movement helped me to reflect better my own work and goals.
I just needed a break.
Withdrawal and introspection are always needed when a very little of value can be accomplished.
Only through letting go the old ideas and concepts and embracing the new can lead to a success.
Sometimes is needed to reevaluate everything you have accomplished and make some cuts from losses allegiance that hold you back from your goals.
Retreat is not a sign of weakness but the sign of strength.
Retreat is not the same as surrender .
When you take a break , you are just regrouping your own forces and allies . That step away from activism, work or any other activity , it is the most important step one can take, before moving forward again.
Isolation of yourself from the community that was built is a crucial move in order understand better your own actions and the actions of the others.
However, the isolation cannot last for a long time because our priorities and goals can be forgotten and our own voice could be lost in silence.
No matter the movement we are in, communities can give us a collective voice but individual voices must not be suffocated for a sake of higher goals.
When you find yourself in environments you do not feel comfortable with, step back becomes an only option.
The step back I did not want to make was a step back from supportive people and friends I made doing activism.
They were and remained to me (and hopefully I to them) my support.
Good relations that are built among the people you met during any kind of work should not be broken easily.
Our everyday is interconnected with many aspects of our lives and does not begins and does not end within communities and activist circles. It does not begin and it does not end with our activist projects and accomplishments.
Our everyday begins and ends with our feelings of happiness and joy, with our feelings of sadness and loneliness.
I became activist because I do care about issues around me. I understood how issues such as inequality, poverty and privilege affect life of people around me and my own life.
It is not possible to care for the others without the care for yourself.
Care for yourself cannot be separated from care for the others.
Comeback to yourself so you can comeback to the others.
No matter on where you are and who you are because people can relay only on people.
You do not have to awaken your life’s purpose to build up relations with people .
You do not have to wear anyone’s shoes or be able to understand someone’s feelings.
The only thing that it takes is to rely on and to allow others to rely on you.
Sounds simple but is the most difficult thing .
To give and to receive back.
As much as much as we are able , never beyond that.
If we give ourselves to something or to someone beyond we are able to, then we become victims.
I believe we are sick the roles of victims and martyrs.
Those roles did not give the solutions in the past.
Activism is about being more humane and nothing more.
Coping between collective and individual humanity.
It is way of living and can hardly be a job!
So, If you are tired , take a break and after the break start over, again.